The Good, The Bad, and The Mission

Well guys, I just have not had the spirit to write a blog post in a while. This has been a hard time in my life, and I am not one of those guys who write when things are tough. I have never been good at dealing with tough emotions, so I have thrown myself into my work full speed so I would feel the pain slowly a bit at a time instead of all at once. I think it has really hit home that Dad isnt here and I hate it, just hate it.

I have started full speed on my mission to fufill his last wish. I sent letters to congressmen about having his name added to the Vietnam Memorial, that didnt go well. I should have know, a congressmans job is to pass the buck or ignore you unless your making a big donation to his campaign. Congress sent me to the Army, and out the letters went to them. I am interested to see what they have to say about the idea. I will never stop trying to add dads name where it belongs....he earned it.

I created a facebook page on thier "causes" app. I hope you will all join this cause Put Sarge on the Wall. There were thousands of American soldiers who were sprayed with Agent Orange. Many of them are suffering like the Sarge did. If we can get Sarge's name on the wall it will open the door for so many more like him.

I will not soon forget the words of the man that dad often hailed on his blog, Rep. Alan West "Your father would have had to have died of a combat related injury to have his name added." What a pant load of crap that was. Dad liked Alan West for his dedication to veterans, turns out he's just another politician full of hot air and bullshit.

If you have not figured it out yet, I am still at the at the angry stage. They say there is five stages of grieving; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. If this is really true than this is gonna be a long process because I am still really, really angry. I dont really have room in my life for anger, but with regards to this I am making room.

Anyway, tonight I recieved my three year medallion. Eight days after Sarge passed was my anniversary. I wanted the medallion to go inside his urn, but that didnt get to happen.

While I was at the podium, I got a chance to talk about Sarge. I reminded myself that the last thing he said to me was how proud he was. So this weekend I plan to go out to the graveyard and leave the medallion with him.

I am sorry this has turned depressing but cant really help it right now; therefore I shall stop. Heres hoping I wake up in a better mood, and we all have great days! 



A Hero Laid to Rest

Sargent First Class Charles Edwin Cordle, Hero! I just love this picture of my dad, so much so I blew it up and put in the hall we had our reception. The service was absolutely amazing, The United States Army Color Guard did thier thing with absolute dignity and honor. The gun salute, although we knew it was coming, was behind us and we didnt know when it was coming (it scared the crap out of me). Thats when I really lost it for a few minutes, and that was followed by the bugler which was touching. Reverand Padgent delivered a positive and hopeful message that reminded me that the Sarge would be with me always in spirit while he is resting in the Kingdom of Heaven.

This has been the most rollercoaster ten days I can remember. From the news that dad was going on Hospice with weeks to three months left to being gone four days later to all the arrangements to the things that werent perfect that had to be fixed. In the end today was perfect, an incredibly honorable way for a great man like the Sarge's life to be celebrated. In this ten days I was really able to work on building my relationship with my sister which was great. I am so grateful she has been here this past week because I could not have done everything that needed to be done without her.

I an so greatful to all the wonderful folks who have showm me and my family so much love this pask week, words will never describe how much it has helped.

I guess there isnt really anything left to say about this, so I think it would be right to let a hymn close out todays post

The Day After

You know, I knew that my Father was a very loved man, but I never could have imagined the amount of saddness floating through the world today. Many of you come by here from time to time but I have read blog after blog after facebook post about my Sarge today and I am truly touched. I have cried, I have laughed, I have pouted, and I have smiled today. I guess this will continue for a while to come.

My father has not smoked anything in a couple decades, but he used to enjoy a cigar. Therefore in his honor last night I indulged in a fine Dominican cigar. Three of the guys at Fern House joined me, and as we sat in the courtyard smoking these cigars I described the love that the Sarge had shown for so many years. I described the struggles that he went through with me, and they were many as most of you know. These guys who had never met him listened to my stories in awe of what a great man he was. I described the time we had since I got clean, the four cruises we spent together, the getting together every weekend for family time, and the look he gave me the day he told me hospice was coming when he made sure to tell me exactly how proud he was that I was his son.

I have a void, a void that can not be filled by anything. But when I look outside that selfish emotion of hurt, I realize that my father became the luckiest man in the universe yesterday. Let me explain........
Dad was a soilder, He fought in war, he fought addiction, he fought cancer three different times for the last eleven years of his life. Some of you read Mimi's Peace Blog, well she described that every soldier wants nothing more than peace, Sarge found that peace yesterday. Knowing that he will never fight again makes this unbearable pain sting a little bit less.

I walked into the computer room at Fern House, and one of the guys had found Sarge's blog and made that picture of him with the M-16 from Vietnam the backround picture on the computer. That made me cry again, but I reminded that is one of the fights he will never endure again.

I cant even stand to read back what I have written, I am just typing as fast as can hoping the thoughts will never enter my head again, knowing I wont be able to stop them. I hope this has been something that can be read, although I dont think I will read it for some time.

Once again, THANK YOU ALL for the love you have shown my family

Trying to fulfill a mans last wish

Most of you know this wonderful man. Some call him Sarge, one called him soul mate, and several called him dad. My father, and our friend completed the fight today and went on to join at Gods side. I will miss his sense of humor and dry sarcastic way for the rest of my days. Shortly after he passed my sister told me that he had a wish. A wish that according to the regulations of the Vetrans Administration will not come true, but if you know me I will not give up that easily. Sarge passed from cancer, his third different cancer that worked its way through his body for the last eleven years. All three cancers were caused by Agent Orange which was routinly sprayed on many of our troops during the Vietnam War. His wish was to have his name placed on the Vietnam Memorial in Washington DC. He felt like he deserved that since his service cut short his life, and so do I.


The following is a letter that I drafted between tears to Congressman Alan West:

January 29, 2012

Representative Alan West

1708 Longwood HOB

Washington, DC 20515 

Dear Mr. West, 

I am writing this letter to you with a very heavy heart. My father, Charles Edwin Cordle passed away today after eleven years of fighting three different cancers. My father was a decorated veteran of 26 years of service to his country, and I choose you to receive this letter because he appreciated your service for veterans in the United States Congress. My father was a conservative patriot who loved his country, and would proudly give his life defending it. Sadly, in a roundabout way that has now happened. 

My father volunteered to join the United States Army in 1960, serving several tours in Vietnam, Germany, Korea and Okinawa. During his tours in Vietnam he was routinely sprayed with Agent Orange, which the doctors at the VA hospital in West Palm Beach determined was the cause of each of his three bouts with cancer.  

One of his final wishes in the great life he enjoyed was for his name to be placed where it belongs; alongside his 58,195 brothers that perished in that fight on the Vietnam Memorial. We are all aware that my father did not perish on the battlefield, but the actions on that field of battle shortened his time here which makes his placement on that wall fitting. 

Mr. West, I am not expecting anything from you except what is right. I know that as an advocate for United States Service men and women that you are exactly the right person for this undertaking. What I am asking for is not easy, but what part of the life of a veteran is easy. Please help, thank you sir.

Sincerely, 

Charles Edwin Cordle II




I wish to encourage his friends to draft similar letters to their Congressmen so maybe we can make his wish come true. Thank You for your help and I love you all. Most of all I love my dad and will do anything I can to make his wish a reality.

Christmas Eve at the Fern

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Fern House
Not a creature was stirring, not even the crackheads.......

Well in reality, the days of the old school crackheads are just a thing of the past. Today, the field of addiction is filled with young kids coming off pills. The doctors prescribe seven oxycotin per day for a stubbed toe and the kids today are kicking walls and getting in line..... well today is christmas eve and alot of these kids are getting ready for their first christmas without drugs in a long time. My plan is to spend time with the ones who dont have a family to visit with. We have been more lienent about people going home for the holidays than I have ever seen Fern House be, but some of these guys dont have a family to go to, so to help keep their risk level down I am gonna stay here with them this year.

I have invited the parental units to come over and enjoy a Fern House Christmas dinner and we will spend some time together that way. Its better for them anyway as I think they have both given up on that room called the kitchen in their house. As a kid my motherly parental unit ALWAYS made homemade lasagna with meat sauce, and it was GOOOOOOOOOD. Unfortunately the days of her spending a full day in the kitchen have long since passed her by so I had a great idea, for Christmas eve I am taking them out to dinner at a lovly Italian resturant so I can get my lasagna fix.

Thas about it for now, I would like to wish all of you a very safe holiday. Heres hoping all your faces have smiles

Party in paradise

Today is a big day in the holiday season at Fern House. I have a hearing in court this morning, I have had a lot of these lately. If you have seen me on Facebook, you have seen the pictures of me getting ready to walk into a courtroom, if not here you go:

After court I have to get back and get ready for the Fern House Christmas Party. Two hundred people are expected which is just crazy. We talked about changing the party next year and doing two different parties. One for the guys and their families, and one for the board of directors, the lawyers we work with all the time and hopfully a few judges too. I think that would be better because if 250 people show up (which is possible) I have no idea where we will put them. I will be posting some pictures from the party afterwards tommorow.

I have been struggling with my diet since getting back from the cruise. I still have the desire but the follow through just isnt where I need it to be. I am promising myself that after Christmas I am getting back on track with the plan. I am down seventy pounds since I started nine months ago, but I still have thirty to go to get to my original wish of losing a hundred pounds. I WILL DO IT.

Thats about it for now, I am writing this Sunday night and I have to get up early for court so have a great day. Heres hoping all your faces have smiles!

Cruise Photos

Here are a few of the pictures taken on last weeks cruise. There are bunches more but these are my favorites.

 The guest of honor and BIRTHDAY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!

 The motherly parental unit with Ayla

 The true destination of the trip

 Atlantis Resort

 Food Porn

 More Food Porn

 Me at Megans Bay, St Thomas, USVI

 Veiw from the mountins of St Thomas

 Old San Juan, Puerto Rico

 Fort Cristibal in San Juan

 Setting Sun leaving San Juan

 Grand Turk

This was the final sunset on a great vacation