Thursday, February 23, 2012

The Good, The Bad, and The Mission

Well guys, I just have not had the spirit to write a blog post in a while. This has been a hard time in my life, and I am not one of those guys who write when things are tough. I have never been good at dealing with tough emotions, so I have thrown myself into my work full speed so I would feel the pain slowly a bit at a time instead of all at once. I think it has really hit home that Dad isnt here and I hate it, just hate it.

I have started full speed on my mission to fufill his last wish. I sent letters to congressmen about having his name added to the Vietnam Memorial, that didnt go well. I should have know, a congressmans job is to pass the buck or ignore you unless your making a big donation to his campaign. Congress sent me to the Army, and out the letters went to them. I am interested to see what they have to say about the idea. I will never stop trying to add dads name where it belongs....he earned it.

I created a facebook page on thier "causes" app. I hope you will all join this cause Put Sarge on the Wall. There were thousands of American soldiers who were sprayed with Agent Orange. Many of them are suffering like the Sarge did. If we can get Sarge's name on the wall it will open the door for so many more like him.

I will not soon forget the words of the man that dad often hailed on his blog, Rep. Alan West "Your father would have had to have died of a combat related injury to have his name added." What a pant load of crap that was. Dad liked Alan West for his dedication to veterans, turns out he's just another politician full of hot air and bullshit.

If you have not figured it out yet, I am still at the at the angry stage. They say there is five stages of grieving; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. If this is really true than this is gonna be a long process because I am still really, really angry. I dont really have room in my life for anger, but with regards to this I am making room.

Anyway, tonight I recieved my three year medallion. Eight days after Sarge passed was my anniversary. I wanted the medallion to go inside his urn, but that didnt get to happen.

While I was at the podium, I got a chance to talk about Sarge. I reminded myself that the last thing he said to me was how proud he was. So this weekend I plan to go out to the graveyard and leave the medallion with him.

I am sorry this has turned depressing but cant really help it right now; therefore I shall stop. Heres hoping I wake up in a better mood, and we all have great days! 


  1. Never apologize for your feelings. You know from your experiences that keeping "stuff" in is not healthy. Go for it and let it rip....
    I joined the causeand have passed it along to friends.

  2. That wasn't depressing, it was honest. And it was just you expressing the grief you are going through.

    big hugs honey

    ps. I'm breaking my own "I hate Word Verification so I won't leave a comment rule" just for you. Dang it.

  3. All those stages of feelings are normal, and you need to go through each one of them. No apology needed here. Sarge would still be proud of you, especially for this milestone you've reached. Keep up all your good works.

    Big hugs, honey...

  4. No apologies needed. You feel what you feel. Three years. Wow! That's awesome, Chuck. Not only is your dad proud of you, you should also be proud of yourself and what you accomplished in those three years. Not a lot of people make it that far.

    Sending lots of love your way. I miss your dad bunches... big bunches...

  5. this is a wonderful heartfelt post honey and it made me just boo hoo. alan west can kiss my grits and i will try hard to make sure everyone i know is told what he said. buggers on him.

    hugs, mom

  6. Your father was a wonderful man. I was reading over some old blog posts of my own and found one from over a year ago when I was hurting, and he offered me comfort and support.

    I'm heading over to join your FB page; and will do anything else I can to support you in this. Not that I expect American politicians to think much of the opinion of someone who can't vote for or against them, when they don't seem to think much of their own voters either.
    Feel your anger. Let it give you strength.

  7. It's a wonderful thing you are doing for your Dad. I know from your Mum's blog how very proud she and Sarge are of you. I will add my name to your cause if I can, being on the other side of the pond, and wish you luck with it.x

  8. Excellent post. I hope and pray you get this done. Shame on Allen West.

    Have a terrific day. :)

  9. Dear Chuck,
    Many many many proud congratulations on your three year medallion. Good for you! Nice work! VERY PROUD of you for making healthy and effective choices!

    And I think it is very nice that you are going to leave the medallion at the graveyard where Sarge's body rests.
    Charlie's soul will love getting a new one every year, a reminder of how well you are doing, as his pride in you continues throughout time and space:)

    Sarge deserves to have his name on the wall.

    Sorry to hear that Alan West was such a bureau-rat about it.

    I would like to join the cause, but couldn't figure out how when I clicked over there. Will e-mail your Mom and ask for her help with it.

    Of course you are still angry and depressed. You just lost your Dad recently. Those stages of grief cycle through at random and can take quite a while. I wish the pain wasn't there but it is, and it is normal to hurt right now. You don't have to apologize for being human and keeping it real about how you feel.

    Thank you for being so good to your Mom, and voulnteering to go on a cruise with her. It's really important that you be there for her now - and you are:)

  10. Oh Chuck, what a wonderful post. I can see why Sarge was so proud of you. I lost my father on October 22. He was a WWII veteran, and the VA gave me a VERY HARD TIME just getting the honor guard to show up at his funeral. Completely outrageous. I can understand what you are going through with your emotions. If you ever need an ear, just let me know. I am MeezerMomMary, and Miss Bee knows me and my "boys". I will run right over to facebook to join your cause. I am hoping at some point (when my emotions will allow it) to honor my dad by volunteering for an Honor Flight to Washington DC, with the WWII Veterans. I would love to take a side trip over to the Vietnam Memorial and see Sarge's name there.

    Congratulations on 3 years! What a wonderful achievement!

  11. Chuck you continue to make your folks proud, never doubt that. My dad passed away when I was quite young, so I didn't have a lot of grief there. I was fifteen when my died of cancer and all these years later I still miss her like the dickens. So just understand that there are those of us here that will be here for you and understand a bit of what you are going through. God Bless and congrats on the three year medallion.

  12. Everyone grieves in there own way. And you are doing great. Congrats on the 3 years medal that is a great achievement. I also wonder if Alan west wrote it or one of his people did. And maybe they gave him a synopsis of the letter without specifics

  13. Have joined your cause. Sarge deserves to be on that wall, as do all veterans who lost their lives due to war no matter how long it took or how it happened. What a ridiculous rule.

    Wishing you well with this.

  14. chuck, just wrote somethingom The Kitchen Dispatch.