Monday, February 28, 2011

Yay Monday

Yup I said it, yay Monday! I know most of you don't like it but it's my version of Friday, and I need a freakin day off! I know a lot of my regulars won't see this for a week as they are on the bloggers cruise. I wish them a lot of fun and would really rather be blogging about all the fun on the ship, but I couldn't make it.

This has been the longest weekend ever with the kiddies and I'm here to say I want to start renaming them the brats. I really wish I could share some stories as most of them could easily end up being a reality show with HUGE ratings.

Today is a busy day at job two as I have some real issues with some of the crap those brats are pulling too! The upside is that I can dictate some remedies here, and you can bet I intend to! These brats know I am at job one over the weekend so they try to get away with things. What they don't realize (and I do not for the life of me know why they don't) this is not my first go around. They don't know how many sets of eyes and ears I have looking over them while I am away, but they are busted tonight...should be interesting. After that I hope to have another poker game as last week was a lot of fun.

Well that's about it, I know not to much interesting stuff for you, but maybe tomorrow will. Here's hoping all your faces have smiles!

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Friday, February 25, 2011

Happy friday

Well it's Friday again, which for most is a day to relish, but it is actually my Monday. I don't mind it so much though, as I work three nights a week, so after four days off I am usually ready to get back in the game of chasing the kiddies around to ensure that they have been burped and have their pacifiers..... I mean that they are ok.

I know I haven't been checking in very often, I am finding time to be the most valuable commodity. The only thing that everyone wants but no one can buy. I have been very busy this week at the fern house three nights in a row to work with my sponsees and still couldn't meet with all of them. Maybe you'll remember me telling you a while back that I was only going to work with one guy at a time, well it sounded good. I now have five guys I am working with. It's something that couldn't be helped, I can't say no to someone who is really looking for a way out. All it means is I have to work faster in my other endevors so I can make time for them.

As you can guess I have not been able to sit down to start working on my book, but I found an app for my iPad that can help me. Its something that I very much want to get into, but I am afraid that once I start I will have to give up something else I am working on. All I can say is more will be reviled.

Well that it for now, everyone have a great day!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

It's tuesday again in sunny south Florida, which brings about my day to relax. This is my favorite day of the week! After the weekend with the kiddies, which this one was quite rough, Monday is my recovery day. It takes the whole day before I feel normal again. Tuesday is my day to deal with a minimal amount of things, but more relax. I did have a very active Monday yesterday, when I got off work in the morning it was a lovely breakfast with the parental units, followed by a trip to the Walmart. Then last night after the house meeting for job number two, I hosted a poker game in my dining room. That was a lot of fun and we have decided to do it again next week. I don't think it will be a weekly thing, but maybe twice a month. I do have to admit I lost, but it was only thirty bucks and it was a lot of fun so I don't really care.

I did manage to spend some time thinking about a few projects I have on the horizon and feel like I am ready to make some announcements. First, I have decided to start a project that has been on my mind for over a year, a book. Some of you who read my parents blogs will remember last year I was in the hospital for two weeks and had some real problems. My whole life has been faced with problems that almost ended my life many times. I have faced those problems, and come to realize that the struggles I have gone through can benefit and help other people. My realization while sitting in the hospital was that I only wanted to face the easy struggles, I only wanted to find easy answers, and it never helped. It came to me that NOTHING, absolutely nothing, worth having in life is easy. The most valuable things that come to our lives do not cost money, and they are invariably difficult. For years I didn't want difficult because it was difficult, and nothing satisfied me. Well I have embraced the difficult and found satisfaction. This is the basic premise of my idea, but I have never done any real writing so I am looking for some ideas on where to start. I will also be looking for, and if you read this blog regularly you know this, someone to edit this thing for me. I have this auto spell check which changes things I misspell without asking me, and I spell so bad it can't figure me out (turning it off for a second to make a point). I don't know why I spell so bad, because Hukt on fonecs works well! (ok it's back on).

Now this project is going to take guide a while to complete because I have so much on my plate, including being in the planning stages of opening a treatment center. I had another meeting with the guy I am planning this with and we talked about asking for some help and including some people who have done this before. I am incredibly excited about this, because we are talking about incorporating some things that no treatment program out there uses, a real cutting edge idea which if this works (which it does, I did it) could revolutionize an entire industry and change the way addicts seek treatment. More will be reviled I guess.

Well that's it for now. Here's hoping all your faces have smiles!


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Saturday, February 19, 2011

A Saturday laugh

Ok, so the people of walmart emails usually make me smile.... But the captions this one came with are, well brilliant.... I really wish I could claim them



Hershey’s has a new butterscotch chip! Now, somebody go get us a few barrels of cookie dough.



Halloween shopping tip: You don’t need to wear last year’s costume to shop for this year’s. By the way, is the lady in red wearing the same “I can’t believe more than one person bought these” shorts?



I hope you just injured that foot from kicking your own ass for wearing that out in public.



I was going to count how many sizes too small that is but I’ve only got like 20 years of education, so counting that high seems out of my grasp. If there is anyone out there with a doctorate in Quantum Physics that would like to give it a try, we would welcome the answer.



I woke up today completely pissed off that it was Monday. Yes I had a case of the “Mondays,” and I was miserable. So for all you people who for some reason like school or work and woke up in good spirits this morning, this should ruin that and bring you back down with the rest of us.



What has to happen in your life for you to just say “f*** it” and then leave your house with your toddler’s 3T on?



Oh dear God! Please someone go explain to her what “cougar hunting” is.
I think she is taking it way too literally.



Hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers, and blue moons, pots of gold, and rainbows, and even red balloons!!!! Unfortunately these “Lucky Charms” aren’t magically delicious.



Nothing runs like a Deere? You should have seen me haul ass when I saw her.



Why wouldn’t you wanna show off that grade-A caboose after all that toning you’ve put in with those ankle weights?



I didn’t know I could buy a table dance at Walmart too! They really do have everything now.



It’s “bring sexy back” not “bring sexy across your whole back-side”.
Thanks for ruining such a great word by the way.



Oh good, I was getting sick of seeing ass-cracks. I’m glad you decided to instead show us all your gutt-crack. It’s a pleasant change of scenery.



Really? Do you think when you dress? Did you toss on your shorts because, well hey they rock, then just go ahead and grab the shirt your kid just jammed into the paper shredder? Is that how you go about your day, just a complete disregard for anything?



Question: If you are drawing on ridiculous looking eyebrows why not draw them like The Rock’s?
Why would you choose to make it look like everything you see is shocking? On a side note, I’m scared.



I guess that’s why they call it the “Show-Me” state….
Missouri



After doing some extensive research (and by that I mean sh*t I just made up) we have concluded that at some point
that shirt was once whole, and at another point in time it became stretched-torn and hanging on by the seams as you see it now.
But for some reason our research cannot conclude when that point in time exactly was. However, the Issac Newton in me is
guessing it occurred right when she put it on.



Why does it look like you started to put on another shirt then got tired and just decided to say f*** it? Also, your back looks like a frog’s face and that makes me happy.



I plead the fifth…


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Thursday, February 17, 2011

How about a little controversy for your Friday

So it's Friday again folks, and for me that means another weekend work marathon with the kiddies. I really hope that I make it as I have been really under the weather with either some type of food borne sickness or a stomach virus. It has really sucked but Thursday was a bit better so here's hoping I can get through Friday night. The whole job number two has also been keeping me busy, when I took over the place was at just over fifty percent capacity, we are now at eighty percent. That is not to shabby for five weeks, but no time to gloat must keep working.

So I know I promised there would be no more political talk here....but this thing going on in Wisconsin really has my attention. I understand both sides, and know why they are doing what each side is doing. I believe we need unions in America, if you disagree just read a history book. Unions have improved safety in the workplace, work conditions and wages, but they are just as if not more corrupt as the politicians in this fight.

The bill before the Wisconsin legislature does not effect the factory workers who's jobs are being sent to india, it effects public service workers. Personally I have never been to Wisconsin, so I do not know what it is like to try getting something done with a government agency there.....BUT if they are anything like the public servants in the great state of Florida, there is a better chance of being hit with something that flies out as they pick their teeth in front of you instead of them helping you. Raises for cops??? Well since I had an experience of calling 911 a few weeks ago begging for help and waited 18 minutes for a response to a domestic situation with threat of violence..... SCREW their raises.

Now let's talk about the teachers...... In Wisconsin, the average teacher makes 46,330 dollars per year. First year teachers make just over 25,000 dollars right out of college. Now please do not get me wrong, I DO believe teachers are, or at least should be, important. BUT they work ten months a year with a two week vacation in December, one week in November, and one week in either March or April. Pretty sweet eh? And I am ok with all that, I really am, BUT when enough of them decided to call in sick Thursday that the largest school system in the state had to be closed, and for what?so they can go protest (a sick day that I am assuming they will be paid for) well that just blows! If teachers want raises, how about we base them off the performance in their classroom. I'm sorry, but each generation gets just a bit stupider, not to mention this.... I asked someone who just graduated high school who seemed to not know how a bill becomes a law what did he learn in civics class? His answer was: what's civics. REALLY? I further inquired and the kid graduated with a 3.5 gpa and never had to take a civics class. The kids have no idea how their country works... Sorry that's pathetic.

Now I know what this is about politically. I will sum it up in two words: political contribution. Of the top ten lobbyist organization donations, only three of them were putting their money in democrats pockets... They were all unions. Without unions contributing money the republicans could easily run the table. Democrats have to protect the unions because without them they loose. Hence the Wisconsin state senators have violated state law and left town so a vote could not be called. As I have previously stated... I DO NOT CARE about the politics of it, pardon my language they are all assholes. My opinion is about stoping government employees from milking the public, while doing piss poor work and they can't be fired for it. The people pay those folks, and if they want the people to give them more, how about they give the people more!

Well that's enough for now (deep breath).... Have a great Friday!

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Men never listen

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.


A nurse noticed his predicament.

Sir, she said " You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall."

He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he
noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

Each button was identified by letters: WW ,WA ,
PP, and a red one labeled ATR.

Who would know if he touched them?

He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom.

What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms
don't have nice things like this.

Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA
button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently
drying his underside.

When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure.

When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy.

Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him.

"What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

"The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow."

MEN NEVER LISTEN......



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Happy Wednesday!

I have spent the past couple days relaxing at home. I would have gone out, but I have not had a car. Maybe you'll remember a few weeks ago the crack head drama that took place in my front yard, well the car has been in the shop since Monday morning getting the hood repaired. My dad called me normal, since that's what a normal person would do.... I told him not to ever call me that again. I am a lot of things, but normal just isn't one of them.

Well anyway I spoke to the guy doing the work Tuesday evening and he informed me that he had just finished doing the paint work on the hood of the car and it would be ready for me to pick up this morning. I am kinda giddy with excitement, ya know like a kid in a candy store, waiting to get my baby back. I love that car, and treat it like a member of the family. While it has been in the shop I feel like a parent would if their child was in the hospital, wanting to go visit it. Well that might sound sappy, but you try living by the schedule of the public transportation system for two years, I bet you would feel the same way. I have been up all night waiting for morning to come so I don't miss my ride to pick her up in the morning. It's five am right now, two more hours, I can make it.



Well it's Wednesday again, and that means a trip back to the Fern. I have a new guy that I am working with right now, he seems highly motivated and I like that bunches. I have decided that, while continuing to run the step study at Fern House, I am only going to sponsor one guy at a time. I do have two other sponsee's right now, but they both completed the steps, so I can focus more attention on this one guy.

Well that's it for now, here's hoping all your faces have smiles... Cause mine will


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Monday, February 14, 2011

Things that don't need a caption

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, yet people (me included) like to put in a caption. Well I will refrain today, as these truly need nothing added, enjoy!






























And my favorite:




Have a great day!


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A laugh to start your week

HOW  IS EDITH?

A  sweet grandmother telephoned  St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked,
"Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me  how a patient is
doing?" The operator said, "I'll be glad to help, dear.  What's the  name
and room number of the  patient?"
The  grandmother in her weak, tremulous voice said,  "Edith Findlay, Room
302." The operator replied,  "Let me put you on hold while I check with the
nurse's station for that room." After a  few minutes, the operator returned
to the phone and said, "I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Edith
is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine;  her blood work just came back
normal and her Physician, Dr. Cohen, has scheduled her to be discharged
tomorrow." The grandmother said, "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so
worried. God bless you for the good news. "The  operator replied, "You're
more than welcome. Is Edith your daughter?" The grandmother said, "No, I'm
Edith Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me crap."


Everyone have a very happy Monday!!!!!!!

Friday, February 11, 2011

Well, as I expected, the political talk brought lots of opinions. Thank you all for your opinions, that said we won't be doing that again real soon. I really hate debates about politics and religion because everyone has their opinion, and it's rare that they will stay open minded enough to take someone else's opinion seriously or let facts influence them. Some of you did, and I am proud of you for that, again it's rare. I know the Sarge, who was there reason for the post, thinks i do not take his opinions seriously but i do. I listen to all of his opinions, then i take the advice of one of his hero's, Ronald Reagan; trust but verify. Enough about that. Next up.....Jesus vs Allah (just kidding)

Well it's Friday again and that means I will be heading in to see the kiddies tonight. We had a meeting yesterday, and I do so dread those. Every meeting we have had since I started there has been what I would call, no fun (saying that as polite as I know how to). Yesterday was quite productive though, I was very pleasantly surprised.

Well thats it for now, have a great Friday.



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Thursday, February 10, 2011

Should I? Shouldn't I?

Ok let me start by saying what I am going to talk about today is NOT the reason for this blog. I will NOT be making a habit of this, but here goes....

I was reading my fathers blog over the past couple weeks, and if you know the sarge, you will know that he is, to be polite, very spirited about politics. He has also been in somewhat of a pissing match with one of his readers named Mattman. The sarge is a conservative, again putting it politely, and Mattman is a liberal, to say the least. Well two days ago the sarge put up a post about one of his hero's, Ronald Reagan who would have celebrated his one hundredth birthday this week. Well I decided to chime in with some witty comments, but since I have rarely, ok never seen eye to eye with the sarge's political views, it didn't go over very well.

Since I am going here I guess I should explain my political views. In the late eighties I was more right wing than the sarge is, well maybe not but close. Then came my problem, I trusted a politician. I trusted George Bush Sr. When he said read my lips. About this time I was enrolled in a political science class and was really into it, even thinking about changing majors. I think the instructor of that class, who I would sit and talk to played a part in me making my decision, i was ditching the republicans. According to my instructor, and today I believe this as well, when someone is liberal when young, they usually grow more conservative over time. When one is conservative when young, they grow into heartless bastards. (I will be called uninformed for that, but probably only by people who voted for Jimmy Carter). Well back to it, then came Bill Clinton, and I learned to like him. Yes he lied to us, but by this point I had grown to realize that politicians were incapable of telling the truth. I voted for him and was happy to do it! He took a failing economy, raised taxes higher than any tax hike in the history of this country, and we prospered. He submitted the first balanced budget to congress for approval since Kennedy, and we prospered. I know what most of you are thinking and yes he couldn't keep it in his pants and he lied about not being able to keep it in his pants, but the country prospered.

I know what the conservatives out there are thinking, everything good that happened under Clinton can be attributed to Ronald Reagan, and I know that is what your thinking because that's what fox news taught you. But unfortunately that is not true, cause Clinton undid most of the things that Bush Sr. didn't undo such as ending the trickle down economics just for an example, and we prospered. If I would have had the chance I would have voted for him a third time, and he would have won. Unfortunately though I didn't get that chance, so I instead voted for Al Gore, yes I admit it. And that dipshidiot left me completely disenchanted with the democrats. You see he invented the Internet. Bwahahahaha, the Internet was first conceived when he was fourteen, and he was nineteen when the first email was sent between ucla and Stanford in 1969, since he went to Vanderbilt and harvard it means that is a figment of his imagination but nobody tell al that let's let him keep thinking he is special. Or not, screw him, since he made millions placating to peoples fear with the whole global warming thing.

So now we come to my current opinion, which was born in 2000, all politicians, both sides, are manipulative lying, scumbags who sell fear for a very high price. Both Bush's did it, Reagan did it, Obama continues to do it, even my favorite Clinton did it (although that was more to take the countries attention off his sex life). So my political affiliation---- I dislike them all equally. I don't care who wins, because I get screwed equally either way. I care even less what the entertainers that some of you consider reporters think I should believe because they are also making millions placating to peoples fear I include them all CNN,msnbc,cnbc,fox news, just to name a few.

That said, I am now sure that I have pissed everyone off, both sides. My job here is complete. After this I hope for no more speak of politics on this blog for a long time. Even though I pissed you off I still hope you have a great day!
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Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Stuff you probably didn't know, and maybe didn't want to



Thought this could brighten everyone's day :D

Very Interesting Stuff
In the
1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed
to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule
of thumb'
--------- --------- --------- ----

Many years ago in
Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen
Only...Ladies Forbidden'.. .and thus, the word GOLF entered
into the English language
--------- --------- --------- ----
The first couple to
be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma
Flintstone
--------- --------- --------- ----
Every day more money
is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.
Treasury.
-- ------------ --------- --------
Men can read smaller
print than women can; women can hear better.
--------- --------- --------- ----
Coca-Cola was
originally green.
--------- --------- --------- ----
It is impossible to lick
your elbow.
--------- --------- --------- ----
The cost of raising
a medium-size dog to the age of eleven:

$ 16,400
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Intelligent people
have more zinc and copper in their hair..
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
The first novel ever
written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.
-- ------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Each king in a deck
of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander,
the Great

Diamonds - Julius
Caesar
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
111,111,111 x
111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
If a statue in the
park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air,
the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in
the air, the person died because of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died
of natural causes
--------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q.. If you were to
spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you
would find the letter 'A'?

A. One
thousand
--------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q. What do
bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser
printers have in common?

A. All were invented
by women.
--------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Q. What is the only
food that doesn't spoil?

A.
Honey
--------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
In Shakespeare's
time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the
phrase...'Goodnight , sleep tight'
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
It was the accepted
practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the
wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with
all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because
their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the
honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
In English pubs, ale
is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind
your pints and quarts, and settle down.'

It's where we get
the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Many years ago in
England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or
handle, of their ceramic cups When they needed a refill ,
they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle'
is the phrase inspired by this practice.
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
At least 75% of
people who read this will try to lick their
elbow!
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
Don't delete this
just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read
it.

I cdnuolt blveiee
taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The
phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at
Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the
ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the
first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a
taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This
is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by

istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
--------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
YOU
KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 when...

1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't
played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list
of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of
three.

4. You e-mail the
person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for
not staying in touch with friends and family is that they
don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in
your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is
home to help you carry in the groceries...

7. Every commercial
on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house
without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first
20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic
and you turn around to go and get it

10. You get up in
the morning and go on line before getting your
coffee

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading
this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you
know exactly to whom you are going to forward this
message.

14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually
scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this
list
~~~~~~~~~~~AND
FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~

NOW U R LAUGHING at
yourself.
Go lick your
elbow.

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Monday, February 7, 2011

How about a little truth in advertising

Ok, am I the only one who thinks that this is funny



Yup it's a homeless guy with a scruffy beard, same shirt for a week, jeans could walk on their own, and all his possessions on the ground next to him holding a sign advertising a beauty supply shop. I'm just sayin'

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Thank God its Monday!!!!!

Yup I said it, thank God its Monday.....to all you mon-fri people out there sorry about your bad luck, but I am a Friday through Sunday night shift guy and this was a freaking crazy weekend. I personally did enogh admissions to fill a third of the facility in three nights. I wish I could share some of the stories as I am sure you would just laugh and laugh but I cant really talk about that place publicly. I will however share a funny story about my break last night.

Now before I start i already know what most of you are gonna say and I know I was wrong on multiple levels, but I swear this type of crap only happens to me because God knows it will keep me amused so I consider it a gift. At 3:30 am I went for a cup of coffee, now they do serve coffee at my job, but I swear they use the same company to get their coffee as the county jail, because it tastes the same. So anyway I am in the drive-thru at mt favorite late night coffee and dougnut shop counting the police cruisers when I see a man wobbling through the parking lot. He bravely goes up to the door and tries to open it but if your not wearing a badge you have to go through drive-thru at this hour. Now I am in my car, all the windows down, sterio blaring bebopping to my music waiting for my favorite immigrant doughnut guy to make my coffee when wobble guy decides to come over to the car. He walks up to the passenger window and starts talking to me. I cant understand a word he is saying because of the music so, looking for something a bit more entertaining, i turn down the radio.

He begins to tell me the plight of his night and I am thinking he is about to ask me for money. But wait, in his hand, i see a wad of cash....hmmmmm this is getting more interesting, let me actually listen to what he is saying. He begins to explain in a slurred speach that only a drunk could have that he had been partying in Hollywood beach all night and was on the way to his hotel when his car ran out of gas on the interstate. I asked where his hotel was and he said Fort Lauderdale beach. I immediately chime in with "no wonder you ran out of gas, your hotel was thirty miles ago, and your lucky that you didnt have a full tank of gas or you would have ended up in Daytona Beach."

He then tells me "I didnt see any signs for Ft Lauderdale" to which I replied "Well as you were leaving Hollywood the first sign you should have seen was Ft Lauderdale next thirteen exits and the sign is as big as a car, but if you missed that the next clue should have been that it took ten minutes to get to the bar and thirty minutes to get back and were not even close yet. Im just sayin"

So he asks me if I know where a gas station is, I answer yes another half block the way you were walking. He responds "you mean Shell" (now at this point the building is blocking the veiw down the street) and I cant help myself at this point I chime in with "If you already saw the big sign with the seashell on it then why are you asking where the gas station is? he responds by tilting his head to one side, closing one eye, and squinting with the other im guessing this helps him focus better and says "hmmm good question". I tell him yes it is, thas why I asked it and he had no response. Then he asks me if I think the doughnut guy will let him use the phone to call a taxi to get to the gas station. I respond with "Its a half a block, if your to drunk to walk a half block, you probably shouldnt be buying gas"...again head tilted, one eye closed, other squinting, this time the tip of his toung is pushing through his lips.... now thats focus!

Now about this time I am waiting for the question, I know he is thinking it, he is gonna ask me to take him to the gas station, then drive him to his car. AND he did. as he is asking the question he starts waiving the wad of cash at me saying Ill take care of you brother.

Now here come the part where this is wrong on multiple levels, he could be a serial killer, if he is not but gets back behind the wheel of a car he could be a vehicular killer then it dawns on me.... I hope he is a serial killer, because after the weekend I had at work I could use someone to take out some aggression. I tell him that I will drop him off at Shell and from there he is on his own. Now this is not at all out of my way because I work next door to them and am on my way there as soon as i get my coffee. He tells me his name was Chris, I was hoping for the last name so I could find him on the booking blotter later but I didnt catch it. As I pulled into the gas station he reaches into his pocket and hands me a ten dollar bill. I tell him not to worry about it as I was coming this way, but he insisted and went on his way.

Everyone out there give a quick prayer right now to whom ever you pray to that Chris made it home without killing anyone or himself, Really hoping that the walk back to the car just wore him out and he fell asleep on the side of the road.

Moral of the story, dont drink and drive, or you might just end up in some other city baffled at how you got there! Have a great day ya'll

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Its a celebration!




Yup, your reading it right today marks two years clean and sober! You will notice the sea shell attached, I went back to that same meeting I spoke at last week on Lake Worth beach and they attach a seashell to their key tags.

I was asked how I did it and for the first time I can remember, I was speechless. Now if you know me your thinking, what Chuck couldn't think of something to say???? The answer is yes. A came up with something but I don't think it made any sense because I was left in awe of this shiny black key chain. Now I know that sounds kinda stupid, but I have wanted one of these things for a decade. I am fortunate that I finally want one bad enough to stay clean.

Now your probably asking yourself what is he doing today to celebrate? Well to answer that question, I spent most of the day jumping through hoops at the zoning board trying to no avail to get job number two legally licensed. After the meeting tonight I spent a couple hours getting two new guys orientated to our program. The rest of the night? Well I am about to turn on the daily show, then maybe watch some family guy.....some real intellectual stuff eh?

Well that's about it for now, you all have a great day, k!
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A quick laugh

The Thursday message is still to come, just wanted share a smile.



REDNECK FIRE ALARM



Now that's funny, I don't care who you are

You never have to change the batteries!!! Put one in every room!
Safety First-Ya'll!


You don't have to thank me for this information I do this as a public service.





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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Happy Wednesday!

Well hello everyone, I know I missed a couple days in the past week. It is hard to remember where I need to be even minute of every day. I also can attribute this to my mother, she told me about this app called angry birds, well in two days I have beaten the free version, and gotten to level fifty-two on the paid version. I am gonna need angry bird anonymous!

I did get out of the house on Tuesday though, I had to run several errands getting job two compliant with the laws and regulations so I never have to go through Sunday nights fiasco again. This seems like it might be easier than I first expected, but more will be revealed. I also got out for the evening, dinner with the parental units then I joined them for their Tuesday night poker game. I did ok in the tournament, finishing in eight place at the final table. Unfortunately, only the top six finished in the money. Dad did better finishing in fourth, good job!

Well Wednesday brings about a trip to the zoning board (nope, doesn't sound fun to me either) and back to the tax collectors office ( nope still not fun but necessary). THEN, it's off to the Fern House. I am quite sure there will also be a stop at Starbucks as well. All in all Wednesday seems pretty busy. Well that's it for now, here's hoping all your faces have smiles! Make it a great day


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