A Saturday laugh

Ok, so the people of walmart emails usually make me smile.... But the captions this one came with are, well brilliant.... I really wish I could claim them



Hershey’s has a new butterscotch chip! Now, somebody go get us a few barrels of cookie dough.



Halloween shopping tip: You don’t need to wear last year’s costume to shop for this year’s. By the way, is the lady in red wearing the same “I can’t believe more than one person bought these” shorts?



I hope you just injured that foot from kicking your own ass for wearing that out in public.



I was going to count how many sizes too small that is but I’ve only got like 20 years of education, so counting that high seems out of my grasp. If there is anyone out there with a doctorate in Quantum Physics that would like to give it a try, we would welcome the answer.



I woke up today completely pissed off that it was Monday. Yes I had a case of the “Mondays,” and I was miserable. So for all you people who for some reason like school or work and woke up in good spirits this morning, this should ruin that and bring you back down with the rest of us.



What has to happen in your life for you to just say “f*** it” and then leave your house with your toddler’s 3T on?



Oh dear God! Please someone go explain to her what “cougar hunting” is.
I think she is taking it way too literally.



Hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers, and blue moons, pots of gold, and rainbows, and even red balloons!!!! Unfortunately these “Lucky Charms” aren’t magically delicious.



Nothing runs like a Deere? You should have seen me haul ass when I saw her.



Why wouldn’t you wanna show off that grade-A caboose after all that toning you’ve put in with those ankle weights?



I didn’t know I could buy a table dance at Walmart too! They really do have everything now.



It’s “bring sexy back” not “bring sexy across your whole back-side”.
Thanks for ruining such a great word by the way.



Oh good, I was getting sick of seeing ass-cracks. I’m glad you decided to instead show us all your gutt-crack. It’s a pleasant change of scenery.



Really? Do you think when you dress? Did you toss on your shorts because, well hey they rock, then just go ahead and grab the shirt your kid just jammed into the paper shredder? Is that how you go about your day, just a complete disregard for anything?



Question: If you are drawing on ridiculous looking eyebrows why not draw them like The Rock’s?
Why would you choose to make it look like everything you see is shocking? On a side note, I’m scared.



I guess that’s why they call it the “Show-Me” state….
Missouri



After doing some extensive research (and by that I mean sh*t I just made up) we have concluded that at some point
that shirt was once whole, and at another point in time it became stretched-torn and hanging on by the seams as you see it now.
But for some reason our research cannot conclude when that point in time exactly was. However, the Issac Newton in me is
guessing it occurred right when she put it on.



Why does it look like you started to put on another shirt then got tired and just decided to say f*** it? Also, your back looks like a frog’s face and that makes me happy.



I plead the fifth…


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